High School Dating Age Dilemma *Updated With Additional Details and Advice*

Sarah, 

I have been dating this guy for only a few weeks and it’s going pretty good. One thing however seems to really bug me. I am a junior in high school and I have one of the earlier birthdays (in January) and he is a freshman with, of course, one of the later birthdays (in July). I always thought that it would be too weird to date someone two years younger than me. He is exactly 2 and a half years younger. I usually forget that he is that much younger, but when I remember it’s weird again. Not to mention my oh-so-wonderful friends like to mess with me and say I’m a cougar.

Do you think it’s too weird for me to date him? Should I stick with it?

 

You’re like, 17, right?  And he’s 15? 

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again.  Who cares what other people think?  If you really dig this guy, then date him regardless of what your friends say.  Age, schmage.  Friends are great, but if they feel like he’s taking up too much of your time, they’re going to find something, anything, wrong with him.  We all do that.  However, if your parents have something to say about the age difference, well then, that might be a problem.  If both of your parents are giving you guys the parental thumbs up, go for it.  A legal problem might arise when you turn 18, but I stay out of legalities.  If you guys are still together, write me then.  Maybe by that time I’ll have a police badge.  I think they sell them at Party City.  And, I’m pretty sure those badges render legitimate legal power.

To be honest, I am a bit surprised that two people with that age difference (in the typical reverse gender roles) get along so well.  This is nothing against them, but boys just don’t seem to keep up with girls in the maturity process until they’re in their much later teens.  Maybe he’s mature for his age.  Maybe he ate a lot of processed chicken.  The kind of chicken with two heads and human hands.  One of my cousins is fifteen years old and 6’5.  High-schoolers are seriously beginning to freak me out.

Now, to the important part.  The part that makes me laugh.  The cougar part.  You are not a cougar.  I can’t say that I know what age a woman can technically be called a cougar, but it is most definitely not anytime below the age of 30.  Trust me, I know.  I just hit that crazy number, and people tell me I’m creeping up on the term.  Thankfully, my husband is a few years older than me, so I’ll never actually be considered one.

All in all, if he makes you happy, stick with him.  Just make sure you don’t make him feel insecure about his age.  After all, you are the grown-up in this relationship.

😉

Additional Details Update:

Sarah, 

I hope you don’t mind if I add a bit more to my issue. Well, he also does not have a phone and is not really allowed to date. So it’s a secret and we only see each other in school.  I guess this is working out, but summer is coming soon and I realized we probably won’t see each other for a long time over the summer. I don’t want to go through the pain of being with him for a while then breaking up on the last day of school. Honestly, this is kind of a tough situation, but I just wanted another opinion…from anyone reading this. What do you think would be the best approach?

 

I’d like to tell you to just go ahead and date him since that is the horse I was riding on when I originally replied to you, but honestly, it sounds like it’s going to be more of a pain for you in the long run.  You’ve only been dating a few weeks.  Don’t give up your entire upcoming summer to someone you may or may not see or talk to. 

You want to know what I think?  I think you should continue to be friends, but realize that this is just an inopportune time to date.  He’s not even allowed to date, so the best you could do is sneak around without his parents’ knowledge.  You won’t be doing that long because they’ll find out eventually, and then they won’t allow him to see you at all…probably not even as friends until the next school year rolls around.  It’s not worth all the trouble you’d be setting yourself up for, and especially not worth the trouble that he’ll get into.  Trust me, because of a boy, I was grounded from the very first day to the last day of summer break going into 8th grade.  I don’t know if his mother is as crazy strict as mine (love you, Momma!), but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to put him through anything like that. 

Remember something…you’re still young.  You’re not going to be getting married any time soon, so if you’re not in a relationship, so what?  It’s crazy how much a teen can change over one single summer break.  Wait until next school year and see if you still feel the same about him, and if he still feels the same about you.  If so, hopefully his parents will be more lenient and allow you two to see each other.  If not, at least you know you didn’t sit around all summer crying and rocking back and forth with a teddy bear you’ve named after him.  Good luck with everything.  I know it’ll all work out for you.

2 comments

  1. Thanks for the update. I’m glad you guys figured out a way to work out your relationship! Good luck speaking with the parents! 🙂

  2. Hi Sarah,

    So I asked you about this guy last year and now I am a senior in high school and freaking about graduation. I just thought I’d let you know that me and the guy I asked you about broke up for the summer. Then we were both at marching band practice at the end of summer and got back together and still together now. We plan on seeing how it goes this year and I’m working on him telling his parents just as I am telling my parents. The age issue isn’t so much of an issue now. We joke about it. I call him a youngin an he calls me an old hag. His name for me is harsher but I must admit I gave it to myself joking around one day. Just thought I’d update you. 🙂

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