man-happy-single

Staying Happily Uncommitted. Too Much to Ask?

Sarah,

I’ve been diagnosed with Commitment-Phobia. I resent the diagnosis that has been given to me by my sour female ex-gfs / ex-acquaintances / ex-sexual partners / ex-whatDOyouMEANweWERENOTmoreTHANjustFRIENDS?.

I love my life. I have a beautiful little boy, I enjoy the work I do, I keep busy. But, no matter how I explain to a woman my desire to not want to take things too seriously or that I am not interested in a strong commitment, I always end up being the bad guy. I have to deal with their passive aggressive crap like, “That’s fine, I understand you don’t want anything serious.”  Then comes the inevitable, “WHO THE HELL IS THAT HO ON YOUR FACEBOOK!?”

I have always been strictly monogamous. I do not have the time, energy, or desire to be a playa.  Plus, I am simply not smooth. But, my lady-friends always seem to end up becoming jealous or going down the not-getting-enough of my time route.

Am I simply attracting the wrong women or am I not communicating strongly enough my position? Is it possible that my expectations are simply not realistic?

Sincerely,

Happily Uncommitted

 

No matter how times we women are told that changing a man is impossible, most of us have this ginormous little bitty teeny weeny belief that yes, oh yes, we can change him—even if it’s just one thing.

Because you insist you’re not interested in a relationship, you’ve turned yourself into the man we MUST have a relationship with. We want to be the one woman who can pull you in and make you fall so deeply in love that you could never be interested in another. It’s like a competition with all of your other ”ex-gfs/ex-acquaintances/ex-sexual partners /ex-whatDOyouMEANweWERENOTmoreTHANjustFRIENDS? friends.

Sure, in the beginning, a woman might honestly think she’ll be okay as your side piece, but it’s unrealistic for you to believe that a relationship like that will last longer than a few weeks. Who am I kidding? I’d give it a few days. She’d never say this out loud, but somewhere in her head, in her cell phone, in her car late at night parked in front of your house, she’s thinking this:  “You don’t want me? Bullsh*t you don’t want me. I’m going to make you want me. You just watch how crazy I can become!”

Now, if she does stick around for as long as you’d like her to, and she doesn’t seem to have any qualms about it, I say, “RUN.” Preferably to the nearest clinic. This probably ain’t her first rodeo.

It is what it is. Women are usually in it for all or nothing. They’re going to play your game because they’re playing a game of their own. And you’re the prize. You’re the cute little rabbit in a Greyhound race that no animal gets to sink their teeth into.

4 comments

  1. I definitely agree. I have had about 3 very good women in my life that would have done annihtyg for me but for whatever reason I never committed. I finally got to the age where I was seriously looking and I found her. I am by no means a heartthrob, but I feel I had some game. I met women and just wanted to be friends, but it was inevitable that it would end in broken hearts. I really got tired of hurting women and hated when it came to it. It truly was me and not them. Or maybe it was just that I didnt see a future with them but loved hanging out with them. I dont know. But when I made up my mind to look for the right girl, I had an idea what I wanted and it just happened.

  2. Much as I try to beat the mechanics of this game, I have to admit I was purchasing jewelry for a lady friend on Valentine’s Day.

    But, my brother-in-arms there is completely right. Men did not wake up and decide to do this for the hell of it. We were given options,

    1. Hold the purse while she shops.

    or

    2. Make her purchase things for you while she shops.

    I have held all the purses I intend to in my life.

  3. From a man’s point of view it is considerably better to be in this situation. Come and go as we please see and speak to anyone we want without fear of retribution; It’s abslutely flawless!

    Hate to say it ladies, but some of us have figured you out. What have we found out do you ask? We have figured out the mechanics on how you drive us to insanity and used it against you. All we did was turn the tables on you and now we have the power to make you chase us.

    It’s quite genius really, I am not gloating ladies b/c it took quite a few heartbreaks to learn this strategy. But the way I see it is… women have created these monsters and now you women have to deal with it. My brother in arms “Happily Uncommitted”, said he has a son and is happy to be w/o a woman in his life. How do you think he got into that position? I would assume a woman put him into that position. Now women have to deal with the heartbreaks that he dishes out…

    I have four words for my main man up there…

    Go Get Em Tiger!!!

  4. I definitely agree. I have had about 3 very good women in my life that would have done anything for me but for whatever reason I never committed. I finally got to the age where I was seriously looking and I found her.

    I am by no means a heartthrob, but I feel I had some game. I met women and just wanted to be friends, but it was inevitable that it would end in broken hearts. I really got tired of hurting women and hated when it came to it. It truly was me and not them. Or maybe it was just that I didnt see a future with them but loved hanging out with them. I dont know. But when I made up my mind to look for the right girl, I had an idea what I wanted and it just happened.

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