Your info says you’re married, you’re happy, and you have a job you love. Are you feeling the pressure to have children? I personally am married, happy, have found a job I love, and I feel that pressure. If it’s not my nail lady, it’s co-workers, my mom, all of my in-laws, or really anyone. I would love to have kids, but JEEZ these people act like you’re crazy if you are 29, married, but without kids. Am I crazy or are these people crazy?
Those people are crazy! Okay, maybe they’re just curious. The people that are asking you just likely see pregnancy as the next natural progression in life once you’ve been married for a while.
I’m your age, and we don’t have children yet, so I get those questions from everyone and their dog. (I really do wish dogs could talk.) Those questions don’t bother me, but I do find it funny that once you’re about to hit 30, they seem to pop up daily. We are absolutely ready to have children, but it’s not because I think I’m getting too old. This just happens to be the time when we finally feel ready. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel pressured. I would bet that most people (your Mom and in-laws aside), are only asking it out of curiosity, or to make conversation.
Remember, it was normal for our mothers and grandmothers to begin having children at 20 years old, so seeing a married woman without kids, and pushing 30, might seem bizarre to them. But, to us, it’s absolutely normal. It’s even normal for women to opt out of having children at all. And, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It takes courage to admit that you’d rather be selfish with your time and live a life without kids. (Selfish isn’t quite the word I want to use, but I can’t think of another that doesn’t also have a negative connotation.)
If you aren’t quite ready, it’s no big deal. Take your time. Enjoy the time you have with your husband now, and be selfish with it, because like my Mom always says, “Once you have children, your life is no longer your own”. And then she proceeds to ask, “So, where are my grandbabies?” Mother, make up your mind!
But, I really do take that quote to heart. Many of my friends have newborns and I know just how much time is dedicated to them. All of it. They don’t mind of course, because it’s also the happiest time of their lives.
Even though I truly can’t wait to be a mother, I know it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen. So, right now, I’m appreciating sleeping in until 10am every day. I’m appreciating the lack of clothes I get to wear around the house. (If I see any Peeping Toms, know that I will go-go-Gadget my fist right into your face.) I’m appreciating spontaneous trips. I’m appreciating a size 6. I’m appreciating happy hours with friends. I’m appreciating quiet dinners. For now, I’m simply appreciating the precious and beautiful alone time I have with my husband. I think you should too.