Enough About Me. Read About Me!

 

I don’t have much time today to write a second post like I wanted to, so to take it’s place I’m bustin’ out with something I wrote a while ago.  You see that About Me column to the right?  Just think of this as a very long extension of it:

  1. I don’t read magazines very often, but when I do I never start reading from the front.  I open up the last page and continue from back to front.  I think the anticipation of finding out what’s at the end of the magazine is far too much for me to handle.
  2. I own at least 60 pairs of high-heels, but I always wear the same two pairs because they don’t give me blisters.
  3. I like baking cakes, but I rarely eat them.  I get too sick and full from licking the cake mix out of the bowl that I lose any desire to eat the hardened version.
  4. I do a lot of the things that I do because I know the best way to make myself laugh – usually at the expense of others.  For instance, many times (and many times to come) I’ll sneak in and pour a big, ice cold glass of water on Ryan (my husband) when he’s in the shower.  He’s too scared to get me back because I retaliate without mercy.
  5. I’d love to pull the cellophane over the toilet prank on Ryan, but my memory isn’t great, and my bladder isn’t big.  I’d end up peeing all over myself.
  6. If you can love someone too much, that’s how I feel about my husband.  And my dogs.
  7. I worked in an office from the time I was 18 until I was 24.  I got a public relations degree at 25 and decided to never work in an office again…and I haven’t.  I enjoy jobs where I’m interacting with people or children outside of four walls where I can’t leave claw marks.
  8. If there’s one thing in this world that I despise, it’s people that lie.  I can’t stand it.  Just live a morally good life, don’t intentionally hurt anyone, don’t steal, and you won’t have to lie!
  9. I do a back-breaking 1,500 – 2,000 piece jigsaw at least once every two months, and then I take great care to neatly paste it together.   To me, doing jigsaw puzzles and listening to my iPod with a cup of coffee while my dogs keep my feet warm underneath the table is more satisfyingly rejuvenating than getting a massage.
  10.  If you thought that made me seem archaic, just wait.  Lying in bed before I fall asleep, I do crossword puzzles with the history or discovery channel on in the background while Ryan reads some outrageously large book.  (Other things get done too, don’t you worry.)
  11.  I used to have problems falling asleep in high school, so I taught myself to say the alphabet backwards, and then I would repeat it until I fell asleep.  I’ve tried counting sheep, but I can’t control how fast they jump, and I’d have slight panic attacks trying to keep up with them.  Quite the adverse effect.
  12.  I have a handful of friends that have been in my life since I was young, and regardless of how much time goes by in between seeing or speaking with them, I’m convinced that I will always have those friendships because no matter how much we change, nothing changes when we see each other again.  It’s nice.
  13.  In the fifth grade, I used to pull up the blinds, open the window in my bedroom, and dance in case the New Kids on the Block drove by.   I would spend hours doing this.  I always knew they would see me dancing to their songs, point up to my window and say, “Hey!  Look at that amazing girl dancing!  She needs to be in our videos!”  And then, Donnie would fall in love with me and we would live happily ever after.  Oh, well. 
  14.  I have a soft spot the size of Asia for animals – all animals.  I actually cried (just a little) watching Leave it to Beaver because they couldn’t find Tiger, their dog. 
  15.  I was asked to skip the 3rd grade, and I placed extremely high in the 4th and 5th grade spelling bees because I totally had it going on.  I made a 47 as my final grade in high school economics class and had to repeat the stupid thing.  I’m going to say that elementary was much better for me academically than high school was.  But, I can still out spell you…I can also out-chess, out-throw (baseball, football, you name it), out-jigsaw, and out-color-in-the-lines you.

Thanks for reading.  You don’t feel like working on a Friday anyway.

3 comments

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  2. And like ol’ Winston Churchill said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

  3. Re: 8
    The great High Priestess of Wisdom, Judge Judy,
    says that ‘If you tell the truth, you don’t have
    to have a good memory’. Words to live by.

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