I dated a guy a few years ago. He was my first love and we were together for 3 years. Then a while ago, my best friend at the time, Kristy, slept with him behind my back after I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her trying to date him. I was completely heartbroken over this betrayal and lost my best friend. Then recently, my other best friend, Vicky, started talking to him. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it because she tends to flirt and he is usually only interested in one thing. Then she said nothing was going to happen and that they were just friends. Then she started to lie to me about when they would hang out. We live close to each other so when I went past her house one day I saw his car out front and she lied about what she was doing when I asked. We talked about it and she said she lied in order to avoid a fight because she knew I would be mad. She insisted they just watched a movie and nothing happened. Then later I find out that they cuddled while watching the movie. I know it’s not that big of a deal but she just keeps lying. Do you think I should be mad at her about this or am I being too possessive over someone who is no longer mine to be possessive about?
Your situation is very, very familiar to me. As in, I could insert names into your question, and it would tell an exact story I was involved in back in high school.
First, I’m sorry you lost your best friend due to this situation. I know that sucks. Second, I’m afraid that your relationship with this other girlfriend may end up the same.
And this is why…
He was your first love, and no doubt your friend knows this. The fact that she feels that she has to lie to you and sneak around behind your back to hang out and “cuddle” with him should be a big ol’ flippin’ super grande extra large humdinger of a sign that something’s fishy. She’s showing a total lack of respect for your friendship and your feelings. Why, why, why is his friendship so important to her if they just started hanging out? And, come on…just cuddling?
So, do I think you’re being too possessive over your ex-boyfriend? Yes? No? It has been three years since the split. Still, it’s hard to say because I think this is more of a question about the quality of your best friendships. I’ll tell you one thing though…if you still feel like you have feelings for him, don’t look past the obvious immaturity and disrespect he’s showing you by sleeping with and hanging out with your best friends. This isn’t a coincidence.