I was married to the best man until 14 years ago when he passed. After that I was really scared to be alone, and after about 2 years I married someone just so I wouldn’t be alone. That was a huge mistake. I had to pay big bucks to get rid of him. A couple of years later I dated an equally big loser. I am so happy being alone after these two dismal attempts at finding a new partner. Do you think it’s okay to be happy being alone?
There aren’t any rules in life that require you to be in a relationship with someone. If you’re happy and satisfied with your living situation and you would rather be single because you haven’t had much luck in relationships lately, then do just that!
The only thing I hope for you is that you aren’t comparing other men you’re dating to your first husband. No one can, and no one ever will be like him. (I’m sure he was a very wonderful man.)
There are other men out there who have beautiful qualities – they just might be different ones.
If you’re being honest with yourself and you’ve realized that you are happier being alone, then of course it’s okay! Everybody needs some alone time sometimes. If you’re feeling any pressure from friends or family to date or be with someone because they worry about you being alone, tell them that you are a-okay. Sing it loudly like Kenny Loggins does, “I’m alright, don’t nobody worry ‘bout me!”
You can’t force relationships and expect a lifetime of love – only a short period of contentment. You were only in these past two relationships because of your fear of being alone, and because you settled, you didn’t allow yourself enough time to meet any man who could have truly made you happy. But, if you do decide to date again, don’t let those bad experiences hold you back. If you meet someone that you want to settle down with because of passion or emotional and physical intimacy, you may change your mind on the whole flying solo lifestyle.
Until then, do what makes you happy. As long as you have healthy friendships in your life, and you have people you can confide in and love and support you, you don’t need to commit yourself to any one man. (Hell, date ten of ‘em!) ; )
A lot of times, it’s when people allow themselves that alone time and learn to live a happy life without relying on another person is when they get that surprise knock at the door of their heart.